We’re such creatures of habit. When I think of the 9 to 5, the corporate rat race, I think of the Fifties. You know, the classic scene where it’s 5 o’clock, Mom’s got her hair and makeup tidied, is getting the table set, the kids are playing quietly on the floor, and Dad comes in the door, with his briefcase, suit and hat. He looks a little worn out from the workaday world, but he’s proud to be providing for his family. Tomorrow morning, he’ll head out the door, commute to the office, and do it all over again. Sure, a lot of things about this scene have changed. “The Wife” isn’t necessarily a professional homemaker anymore. The kids are likely playing XBOX. A lot of Dads don’t wear suits to work anymore. But it’s funny that the one thing we’re still hung up on is the whole “Workaday World” thing. Many people still get up every Monday to Friday morning, grab their lunch bag out of the fridge, commute into the city, and sit in a stuffy office or grey cubicle for 8 hours. They take their lunch to the lunch room and eat ham sandwiches while discussing last night’s hockey game. They shuffle back to their desks, until 3pm when it will be “Jack’s Birthday” in the boardroom. They will stand around eating too-sweet cake off paper plates with plastic forks, and pat Jack on the back before heading back to their cube to finish the day. They will get up at 5pm, grab their empty lunch bag, and commute home. Lather, rinse, repeat. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with the type of work being done. I know plenty of people that work in offices who truly enjoy the work they do. They are involved in interesting projects, with good people, and dynamic teams. But I am wondering if there are better ways to accomplish the same thing? 8 days hours a week day. I had an interesting conversation with my friend Pam yesterday. We’re both self employed consultants, and we spent some time musing about how life of a consultant is VERY different from the life of the average nine to fiver. It really got me thinking. People in the workaday world are required to show up at a certain time of the morning, get right to work, and keep working for 8 hours. Then they can go home. The expectation is that, aside from a few short breaks and lunch, they will keep working throughout the duration of their time there. However, it’s common knowledge that a certain percentage of those 8 working hours are made up with personal calls and email, chatting with coworkers, cake in the boardroom, and yes, Farmville. So, of those 8 hours, how many are being spent head-down in work? 6? 5? Less? The corporate culture equates sitting at a desk to being productive, but to me, the last place people are productive is sitting at their desks. I got hours worth of work done in just 1 hour yesterday, sitting on a park bench with my iPhone. No birthday parties. No co-workers wanting to chat. No boss bugging me every 10 minutes. Those of us who work for ourselves (or who work at home) have a very different model. My actual sitting at the desk working time each day is somewhere in the neighbourhood of 4-5 hours. Makes me seem like kind of a slacker, eh? But consider that the average nine to fiver is probably putting in only about 6 hours of an 8 hour day on actual work, and suddenly I’m at about par. Throw into the mix that many consultants and workshifters spend a large percentage of the rest of their days working via mobile device – responding to emails, taking and making calls, or networking while in line at the grocery store, or while waiting for a friend at dinner. Just because people are not at the computer doesn’t mean things aren’t getting done. In fact, it’s possible that even more things are getting done in the average day spent outside of the cubicle walls. If I can’t see you, you’re not there. Cats have this funny thing where if they can’t see you, they think you can’t see them. From under blanket, or in a box, as far as a cat is concerned, you can’t see them, so they are not actually there. Imagine their surprise when you suddenly lift the blanket or open the box! Managers in the workaday world are like cats that way. They think that if they can’t physically see their staff sitting in their cubicles, then they aren’t there. And if they aren’t there, then obviously, no work is getting done. I worked in the corporate rate race for many years before striking out on my own. It was in my job description to show up at a certain time, leave at a certain time, and do specific things while I was in the office. If I had to leave to run to the store or something, I had to let people know where I was. Then, I had to make sure that I stayed an extra 20 minutes at the end of the day to make up the time. If I wanted to go have coffee with a friend, it was best to wait till after hours – coffee with friends during the “work day” was frowned upon. After all, I was supposed to be working between 9am and 5pm. Socializing and networking was for after business hours only. As is the case with many small businesses these days, our team at Jester Creative is entirely remotely based. They don’t have to show up to an office every day. We meet in person, discuss the work to be done, then they go off and do it. We don’t care if they do the work at 4am on a Sunday or 2pm on a Thursday, as long as
The Good Problem
There are basically two situations we get into as self-employed people. Either we are completely overwhelmed because we don’t have enough clients, and therefore, don’t have enough money coming in, or, we are completely overwhelmed because we have so many clients, so many projects to get done and what would seem like not enough time. Been on both sides of that fence? Yeah, me too. While the latter is obviously the ideal situation, it can be equally as stressful as the former. Having too much to do, and too many clients, especially when you’re self employed, is what my friend and former boss, Andrew Moizer, would classify as a “good problem”. But a good problem is still a problem, and even the best of problems can quickly turn into bad problems if they aren’t dealt with. The thing about both of these problems – the one of not enough business, and the one of too much business – is that they have the same solutions. You see, both the good problem and the not-so-good problem create the same feelings of being overwhelmed. Therefore, it stands to reason that the path to stop these overwhelming feelings would be similar, right? Let’s explore some ways we can fight this, and reclaim our sense of calm and serenity in the midst of the chaos. Always Baby Steps. I often equate self employment to climbing a big mountain. You start the journey, and you feel great. You are moving fast, and seeing the infinite potential and opportunities that lie ahead of you. Then, after a while of this, you realize you’re still climbing. You’re getting a bit tired. You’re running out of resources, and you still haven’t reached the first plateau. You slip, and slide back down the mountain, and have to start climbing all over again. Eventually, you get your feet under you, but not for long. Yes, you’re stronger now, but obstacles become more complex the higher you climb. You climb up a bit, slide down a bit, until eventually, you can see the summit. Sound familiar? The only way to get to the top of a mountain is one foot in front of the other. If you think that the moment you open the doors of your business, the money and clients are just going to fly in, well, I’m here to tell you you’re mistaken. (Don’t worry, we all made the same mistake.) It takes work, and sacrifice, and more work, and hustle, and courage, and not much sleep to start and run a company and make it successful. It also takes near infinite amounts of patience. Everest wasn’t conquered in a day, and every day you are working on your business you are on Mount Everest. And to get to the top, you have to do it like everyone else – baby steps, one foot in front of the other. Don’t overwhelm yourself by focusing everything you have on reaching the summit. Focus on the task at hand, then the next one, then the next one. Eventually, the top of the mountain will come into view. How are you DOing? At the present time, I have somewhere in the neighbourhood of 20 projects on the go. I wrote them all down on my white board the other day, just to see what it looked like. At first, I thought it was going to send me into a panic. But when I saw it all laid out in front of me, it wasn’t so bad. In fact, I was kind of excited about it. There’s a lot of cool stuff going on! A lot of people assume that when I say “projects” I mean “paid work”. I have a tendency to lump everything in together. That way, I can be sure that even the stuff I’m not being paid to do gets enough of my attention. I have some fun little creative side projects right now. They are a good break from my professional work, and that balance is critical. So, do two things. First, make a list of all your projects…and I mean ALL of them. Yes, that scrapbooking project counts as a project. So does your podcast, your blog, and that going away party you’re planning for your cousin. Writing it all out helps you to see where your head is at and where your focus is. You can group them and categorize them any which way that makes sense. Then, once you have your high level categories, start to make your task lists. Take each project, and write down all the associated tasks you need to get done. Put them in a To Do list. I use a combination of Evernote and Egretlist, because they are integrated and sync across systems. I tag each item with a priority and group it under a project. That way I always know what needs doing where and when. You can even keep your list in your calendar, or (GASP) a paper notebook or Daytimer. What’s cool about having all your tasks laid out is, it becomes super easy to get started at something. Simply pick something from the list, and do it. I tend to have times where I’ll bang off a bunch of shorter items, like sending emails or small writing or research tasks in a group, then slot in some time to tackle the larger things. Crossing off 4 or 5 things in one go is a great way to feel like you’re accomplishing things, and it frees up space for the larger tasks too. But whatever you do, don’t try to keep your To Do’s in your head. It never works, and you’ll forget stuff, and chaos can quickly become catastrophe. Writing it down gets it out of your head, so you don’t have to keep thinking about what needs doing – and you can just focus on doing. Being busy, whether it’s hustling for new clients or managing the ones you have, is a good,
DailyDinner.tv – Sometimes, It’s All About a Great Idea
I’ve met Peter Childs a few times, but it was only today that I decided to really get friendly with his site, DailyDinner.tv. At first glance, the site seems pretty straightforward….plain, even. There’s no funky graphical header or image rotator. There’s no long section of “follow me here”, or “tweet me there” calls to action. There’s not even a whole lot of text. The genius in Peter’s idea is not in his ability to leverage social platforms to maximize the engagement of users and the authenticity of the experience and yadda yadda blah blah blah. (Thank goodness!) Nope. What Peter does is way simpler, and WAY more effective. He solves a problem that each and every one of us have on a daily basis – what to make for dinner tonight. DailyDinner.tv does one simple thing and does it well. Every day, at around 11am EST, the site posts a new, delicious recipe, that can be made with simple ingredients, simple kitchen tools, and in around 30 minutes. Peter tells me that his recipes are generally “an amalgam of several recipes to add flavour or reduce time, and some classics that everyone does the same.” On the home page you’ll see the day’s recipe, with ingredients listed and either a high quality photo or a video. The photo and video thumbnail are the only images on the page, and that’s exactly how it should be. I want to see the yummy, not some fancy flashy graphics that mean nothing. I see the photo and I want to make it. It’s that simple. I can sign up to receive the recipes by email, or I can subscribe to get them in my Reader. I can login and favourite recipes, or view an alphabetical list of previous recipes (which in this case is better than a searchable archive because it’s more practical and taste bud tantalizing to scroll though a delicious list!). Here’s the point. Every day I talk to people who are afraid to get started on the Web. They don’t have the time, or the technical/design chops. In fact, you don’t need any of those things. You just need to have an idea that solves a problem, and solves it well. Peter Childs is solving a fundamental problem, and doing it in a practical way – you don’t have to be a gourmet chef to follow his recipes. His recipes have only a few criteria – they have to be delicious, nutritious, quick and easy, and satisfying. Perhaps we need to take a page from DailyDinner.tv’s book. Forget the fancy gizmos. Forget the latest trends. Build a site that is based on passion (I know Peter is passionate about food!) and the willingness to help peoples’ lives be better, and you’ll have a winner every time. [photo credit: Peter Childs, DailyDinner.tv]
How Kevin Spacey Teaches Us Attention to Detail
I didn’t know what I was going to blog about this morning, then I saw this on Lucretia Pruitt’s Facebook page. I want you to watch it all. Trust me, it’s so entertaining you won’t even notice it’s a bit long. Impersonations by Kevin Spacey (Inside the Actor’s Studio) It’s no secret that Kevin Spacey is one of the best actors of our time. Not convinced? Well, if you haven’t seen The Usual Suspects, The Shipping News, American Beauty, or any of the other 60-some-odd films he’s been in, then you need to. Then come back and tell me he’s not one of the greats. Not only that, but as you’ve seen above (you did watch the video, right?), Mr. Spacey is also extraordinarily talented at impersonations. But don’t get too hung up on his ability to change his voice to match Clint Eastwood, Marlon Brando, and yes, Katharine Hepburn, because there’s so, so much more to it than that. What makes Kevin Spacey such a great actor is his absolute attention to detail. Don’t just do. Be. Go back and watch a bit of the video again if you need to. You’ll notice something interesting. You see Kevin just being Kevin, smiling, laughing, and blushing Then suddenly, host James Lipton asks Jimmy Stewart a question and there is a sudden shift. Kevin isn’t just preparing to talk like Jimmy Stewart – he becomes Jimmy Stewart. His body position changes. He starts to move his hands a certain way. He somehow shape-shifts parts of his face to be more “Jimmy”. He’s Jimmy, before a word even comes out of his mouth. Then, when he does speak, he answers the question, not as “Kevin Spacey doing Jimmy Stewart”, but as Jimmy Stewart would have answered the question. It’s this fine attention to detail that is so impressive. There’s no doubt that Mr. Spacey has spent countless hours watching his fellow actors, studying, in detail, the precise habits, mannerisms, intonations, and expressions they use. Then, he probably spent countless more hours in front of a mirror, perfecting his impersonation. Sure, talent has some to do with it – the guy’s most certainly got an aptitude for this whole acting thing. But attention to detail is what wins him the fans. He’s not just “doing” acting. He’s “becoming” his characters. Big difference. Are you doing, or being? As you go through your days, are you just floating from one task to the next, doing this, finishing that, so that at the end of the day you look back and can’t really see what you’ve accomplished? Or are you being your work? Are you getting into the finer details of the things you’re doing, and really studying? If you start to pay attention to the fine details of what is in front of you, something amazing will happen. You’ll notice different things. You’ll see how all the little pieces fit together to make the whole. You’ll be able to read between the lines, and your end result will be much, much better quality. Be present with your work, and focus on the detail of it, until you get it right. Make it look easy. Kevin Spacey makes acting look easy. In that video, he shifts seamlessly from Kevin to character and back again. He brings all the pieces together – body language, humour, expressions, tone of voice – and the complete package is presented flawlessly. But at the end of the video, you see Kevin do something, even though it’s sort of in a joking way. He fans himself, says “whew”, pretends to look worn out by this ordeal of having to play so many characters at once. It is not easy to do what he did in that clip. It takes crazy amounts of concentration, confidence, experience, and wit – more than most people have. I can bet that it would take a lot out of a performer to have to perform on the spot like that. But Kevin’s a details man, and he’s not about to let the minutiae slide, that’s for sure. He’s practiced, prepared, and paid attention to detail, and he makes it look easy. Are you a teacher? A public speaker? A musician? A consultant? Your goal should be to make what you do look easy, even though people know it’s hard. And that takes an absolute dedication to detail. It takes practice and knowledge and comfort with your subject matter. When you make things look easy, you’re not trying to show people that things ARE easy. You’re showing that you’ve mastered something, and if you’re a master, people will want to see more. Maybe they will even want to hire you for what you know how to do. Making something look easy is hard, and it takes lots of practice and a bit of talent and oodles of time. But focus your energies on working hard at making it look easy, and people will start to respond. Remember, most people just see the easy. Details people see what it takes to get there. How much are you paying attention to the fine details of things? Are you reading between the lines? Studying, re-reading, preparing, practicing? Or are you just going with the flow and stopping when something is “good enough”? I know I’d rather see Kevin Spacey do a remarkable impersonation of Johnny Carson than one that’s just “good enough”. Wouldn’t you? Then why would we ever expect just “good enough” out of ourselves? Perhaps we should all try to be a little more Kevin Spacey.
Focus on Everything
Many an article is written on the topic of focus. People tell you that in order to meet your goals, you must push everything away that can distract you. You must focus on that one thing, until you achieve it – otherwise you run the risk of not accomplishing anything at all. I think that’s a load of hooey. The more you do, the more you know. I am a voracious learner. I’m curious to the nth degree, and I get very frustrated when I don’t understand things. So the only way I can find peace is to try and figure it out. Thank goodness for Google. Because of my innate curiosity, I end up involving myself in a lot of things I would not otherwise be involved in. Curiosity is the reason I ended up going back to school to learn about new media in 1997. Suddenly, it became my career. Curiosity made me want to get into teaching – after all, in order to teach something, I had to learn it first. What better way to understand things than to have to explain them to someone else, right? My curiosity makes me take on lots of new things, and sometimes, those new things become opportunities. So do a lot. Be curious a lot. And before you know it, doors will start to open. Overdo it! Come on! I dare ya! I am the type of person that likes to be involved in a hundred things at once. I come by it honestly. When I was growing up, my parents were always doing a million things. They worked full time, raised two kids, were gardeners, and were two of the most active people in their community. They were always on organizing committees to plan events and fundraisers for our town, were heavily involved in social events on the military base, and then in his “spare” time, my Dad helped build a TV station. Did I mention they both worked full time, and still had plenty of time left over to spend with us kids? I often hear people say things like “Don’t bite off more than you can chew!” and “Don’t stretch yourself too thin!”. Now, I’m not advocating spending every waking moment running around, being involved, working on this and that. There has to be a balance, and everyone’s limit is different. But I think that many people are so afraid of over-committing themselves that they end up not committing to anything. Instead, they wind up on the sofa watching reruns of LOST 6 hours a day, wondering where the time goes and why everyone else seems to be getting all the good stuff. I encourage you to take a good hard look at how you spend your days. Sure, you may have three kids, two dogs, and a mother-in-law. But I bet that even with all that going on you can find 1 hour a day (doesn’t have to be consecutive!), to carve out some time to at least THINK about a project or two that interests you. Maybe you even talk to a friend or colleague that might want to work on your projects with you. Find the time MAKE the time to work on stuff. Inject it into your day. Sitting at the coffee shop with a sleeping 6 month old? That’s plenty of time to learn something new, jot down some ideas, or GChat with a friend about your idea. Walking the dog? Why listen to Christina Aguilera for the thousandth time, when you can be catching up on interesting podcasts or taking a course at iTunesU? We all have more time than we think we do. We all have some room to commit to new things. You just have to figure out how to work it in with the rest of your life. But what about focus? Oh yes, we were talking about focus. Sorry, I got distracted. 🙂 Here’s what I’ve been wondering about the past few days. I’m involved in more things right now than I’ve ever been involved in before. My company has just started a bunch of great new projects. I’m gearing up for another semester of teaching at Algonquin College, and I’m also designing an online course in Digital Communication for this program. I’m working on a couple of speaking engagements this Fall. I’m heavily involved in the creation of SAW Video’s new web site. We’re in pre-production for Season 3 of The House Healers. I even have a couple of secret projects on the go in the background. All that…AND, I still spend plenty of quality time with hubby and the rest of the family, my friends, and occasionally find some time for just me. I sleep 6-8 hours a night. I watch maybe 2 hours of TV a week. Balance. Some people might argue that I don’t have any focus, and that it’s dangerous to be so “all over the place”. But if that’s the case, then why do I feel like I have more clarity than ever before? My good friend and mentor Andre nailed it the other day, when he said to me, “You have clarity, because you are doing what you should be doing. You’re finding all kinds of ways to create and deliver content. It may seem like you’re all over the place, but in fact, you’re doing one thing well. You’ve just found lots of different ways to do it.” I think he’s bang on. So, I challenge you…forget focusing on one thing. Focus on everything you care about. The secret is to not get overwhelmed, and to chip away at everything as it comes. You’ll find that when you’re focusing on doing everything you love, it all becomes crystal clear. Oh, and while you’re busy focusing on everything? Here are some great tips from Lifehacker on how to train your brain to be less distracted. Hat tip to my friends Randy Matheson and Stacerella for focusing long enough to
One Simple Thing that Will Improve Your Content Today
On an average day, I probably skim through about 200 web sites. Most of these I subscribe to in my Google Reader, so that I can quickly scan the headlines and in some cases, the first bits of content for items of interest. Of those 200 items, I probably scan the body content of about 75. Of those 75, I probably read between 15 and 25. Of those, I probably am compelled to comment on 2-10 items. We all want to figure out the secret sauce for getting more traffic to our content. The problem with only counting page views is, just because someone lands on a page of our site, doesn’t mean they are reading everything. They could be just like me – skimming for something interesting. If they don’t find it, they move on. That’s why I believe the more important things to track are comments, re-posts/shares, inbound links, and bounce rate. Those are not guarantees that people are reading, but they are a lot more reliable gauges than page views alone. So how do we encourage people to actually READ and LEARN from what we are offering? How do we compel our readers to ACT upon what we’ve shown them – whether it’s to change a behaviour, or buy a product we are selling? I’ve broken it down to one simple concept. Tell a great story. Once upon a time I wanted you to buy my stuff. One of the biggest mistakes that people make online is they move to the sales pitch too fast. I like how Chris describes it – “I’m reaching out to shake your hand and you’re trying to put your tongue in my mouth.” If your blog post is entirely made up of you talking about how important you are and why everyone loves you and how much people pay you to do things, I’m moving on. I might even unsubscribe. If, the very first time I hit your web site, I see your squeeze page asking me to give you my email address or buy your $50 e-Book or $500 workshop, I’m outta there. For Pete’s sake, I don’t even know you yet! Look. We all want to build our businesses. We all want to get to the end goal, being profitable, as quickly as possible. Many people are desperate – they’ve given up everything to start their companies, and now the cash flow isn’t there. The problem is, real sales takes time. People have to get to know you, trust you. They want to make sure they are getting something of value in return if they are going to give you some of their hard earned cash. It’s only fair that we respect that and be patient with our prospects. And you’re right – it totally sucks having to be patient. But rather than sitting around doing nothing, wondering why your hard-sell pitches aren’t working, why not focus on building up the reasons why people should want to be involved with you? Why not work on telling a better story about yourself? My mind is a blank slate. Have you ever tried to write your own bio? It’s hard, eh? Difficult as it is, I think that anyone who wants to create content online MUST start by putting together their bio. Writing about yourself is a really great way to start to understand what you’re all about. And understanding what you’re all about is key to telling a great story. It’s a good idea to have someone else to help you with the bio. Ask them to interview you, or simply send them a draft that they can give you feedback on. Often, we are too modest when writing about ourselves, so our bios sound just like everyone else’s. But just going through the process of writing a bio can help you to understand a bit more about yourself, and getting someone else’s take can make you realize what you do and what you know that is of real value. Once you understand more about who you are and what you have to offer, you can start to build stories around that. Let’s say your background is in the telecommunications industry. You worked for 10 years with various major telcos, and this has given you a great understanding of how big companies work. You were a team leader there, so you have lots of insight into team building, empowerment, and creating successful collaborations. You were also there during the boom years AND the bust years of high tech, so you know all about how cutbacks can affect morale, and you’re an expert on survivor guilt. How many story ideas are there in that last paragraph? Count them. Write your bio. Then write a list of stories you can tell that relate to your experience. Start publishing those stories. And remember, if writing isn’t your bag, you don’t have to write. Grab a web cam, record your thoughts on video and put them up on YouTube. Get a portable audio recorder, create an audio podcast. Sure, you might feel weird at first, but with practice, you’ll get more comfortable, I promise. Every piece of content that exists in the world is a story. In order to create great content, you have to be able to find the story in everything you do. Then, you have to sit your butt in the chair and express it. Build stories and share. Build stories, and share. I bet that before you know it, opportunities will be pouring in from people who want to hear more of your story. Sounds like a much more enjoyable way to make a living, don’t you think? By the way – there are 8 story ideas in that paragraph. Did you find them all?
How Cultivating Compassion Makes You a Better Communicator
I’m witnessing such an influx these days of “Learn how to Tweet” courses, and “Use Facebook to Win Clients and Influence People” workshops. It’s got me quite frustrated. I’m also growing weary of the “Want to Pick My Brain? That will be $400,000 a day!” conversation. I’m afraid we’re moving away from the things we should be focusing on in order to be successful (and help our clients be successful) in the world of online communication. We’re focused on money and tools again. We need to focus on the people. Take me to the common ground. It’s a little known fact, that in my spare time, I study World Religions. I’ve always had a fascination for different faiths and cultures, but what I’m most into is looking at religion as a whole, and finding the common threads through them, and how those commonalities play themselves out in teachings, belief structure and ritual. I’m far from a scholar on this subject, though if I ever decide to go to university, this is what I’ll study. One of the commonalities of all religions is compassion. The Buddha defined compassion and presence. Jesus was compassion personified, and he did his best to teach others too. Compassion is also a central part of the Muslim and Jewish faiths. Most people are taught compassion from a very young age, through their family’s faith system. Even those that are not brought up in a religious household are able to pick things up from their teachers, and hopefully their family members. So it stands to reason that most of us should understand, and practice compassion without too much trouble, right? Sure, we try, but I don’t think that we’re always succeeding at being compassionate. True compassion is not easy. It’s not hard to pat a friend on the back when he’s having a bad day. But to do it with genuine compassion? That can take a lot out of you. Because being genuinely compassionate means seeing the situation from somebody else’s point of view – and that can be painful. It can be hard for us to face our own problems on a daily basis, let alone others’! So I think that the average person, when faced with being truly compassionate, will pick and choose their battles carefully. They’ll take on the burden of pain for their children, or their spouse, or their immediate family. But when it comes to other friends, colleagues, or especially people we interact with online? Much, much harder. Here’s the thing though. Being truly compassionate is one of the primary ways to develop trust within your networks. And the first key to cultivating compassion is to be a really, really good listener. And isn’t that what we’re all saying about building social media strategies? Listen first? Here’s the difference between “listening” and “listening compassionately”. Listening is about searching for keywords, finding people who are talking about the thing you’re interested in, and monitoring until someone says the right thing at the right moment, so you can pounce. Listening compassionately is not only about finding those conversations, but listening to what people are really talking about. Don’t just search for a keyword. Read what’s being said. Understand what problems exist. Ask relevant questions. Get involved in the emotion and passion of what other people care about. Only with a compassionate ear, will you be able to get to the heart of matters, and then figure out how what you offer, or sell, or want to market can help. The pleasant side effect of this approach is, it takes time to listen compassionately. So, you’re not jumping in to the conversation right away, offering a solution, or shilling your wares (which never works). You’re taking time to hear other people out, to ask them questions, to get to know them – to develop a relationship based on trust, and…you guessed it! Compassion. A lot of people won’t bother with the compassionate route. It takes too much time. It can be emotionally draining. So, the very nature of being compassionate gives you a strategic advantage. Compassion is hard work, but it’s far from draining. I have no trouble getting to sleep at night because I’m feeding off the emotion and energy of the people I’m working with – online and off. I’m giving so much of myself, but in return I’m getting so much back. And because of this exchange of energy, my business is thriving and my personal relationships are strong. And isn’t exchange of energy and compassion what life is all about? On The Dalai Lama’s Facebook page this morning, was the following quote: “Some people think that cultivating compassion is good for others but not necessarily good for themselves, but this is wrong. You are the one who benefits most directly since compassion immediately instills in you a sense of calm, inner strength, and a deep confidence and satisfaction, whereas it is not certain that the object of your feeling of compassion will benefit.” His Holiness is saying that in fact, cultivating compassion creates a calming force in our life. It’s the ultimate satisfaction, because being compassionate enables us to listen more intently, and speak our minds more clearly – even if we’re not certain our energy will be understood or reciprocated. Compassion is selfless, but the irony is, it actually benefits us first. Be a better communicator – just by cultivating compassion. Kinds makes sense, eh? [photo credit: Jesslee Cuizon on Flickr]
Technology Catastrophe Update
In case you’re just tuning in, here’s what happened the other day. Flash forward, 5:30pm today. I delicately removed my formerly soaked iPhone from its cozy rice bath, where it had spent the past 48 hours or so. I ever so carefully plugged it in. Nothing happened. Then, the faintest glow, of the battery recharge symbol. 15 seconds….30 seconds….45 seconds… And there it was. The Apple logo, bright and clear as the day I got the phone and turned it on for the first time. 30 seconds….50 seconds…1 minute 20 seconds. Home screen. Amazing! Outstanding! Marvelous! The rice bath worked. It really, really worked! My husband is a genius!!! As for my life without my precious mobile device the past two days? Not so bad. Did I feel disconnected? Sure I did. Did the world end? Of course it didn’t. Did my productivity go down? Marginally. The truth is though, I’m glad to have my technology back. Does it seem ridiculous to you that I’m even writing this? After all, what’s the big deal? It’s just a tool. And as I’ve said before, it’s not about the tools. To some of you, it probably seems sort of silly that I’m putting so much emphasis on this event. In the end, of course I could live without my technology. We all could. What I do know is, I choose not to live without it. Because it adds a dimension of productivity, and connection, and fun to my work and my play. And I’m grateful that I get to have access to these wonderful tools. And I’m not about to give it up any time soon.
Catastrophic Technology #FAIL
This is a true story. Last night, I was in the bathroom. I washed my hands, then leaned over the (yes, it was clean!) toilet to grab a Kleenex. In one fell swoop, my iPhone slid from the pocket of my hoodie and…..kerplop. Yes. Ker. Plop. I panicked, grabbed the sopping wet phone from the water (did I mention, the toilet was CLEAN??). I dried it off as best I could with a towel. The screen was a dull flicker, from the Apple logo to nothing…Apple logo…nothing. Now, before the incident, the phone itself was completely dead – the battery had just died and I was on my way to plug it in to the charger for the night. So, at this time I have no way of knowing if it’s going to be okay or not. I’m slightly reassured by a similar incident that happened to a friend last week, where her iPhone ended up running through an entire washing machine cycle, and came out totally, totally fine. My hubby immediately went online to try and find out what we could do. As a result, my iPhone is currently getting a 48 hour rice bath, and I’m crossing my fingers. But here’s the interesting part. I’m more upset than I thought I’d be. It’s not the phone itself that I’m grieving. What’s causing my emotional distress is what the phone does for me. That device is my phone, yes, but that’s the part I use the least. It’s also my Email on the road, my To Do list, Calendar, Weather Map, Daily News, Text Messaging service, and myriad other useful things. My mobile device is fully integrated into my life. Some things are a comfortable habit – I have a wake up routine, where I pick up my phone, and, still in bed, read the news, and if I’m not feeling like getting up right away, maybe I check Twitter, Email, Facebook and the like. This morning, I reached over, and my phone wasn’t there. So I just got out of bed. It felt a bit weird. I’m sure as I go through the day today, I’ll reach for it some more. Instead of checking my phone when I’m waiting in line at the coffee shop, I’ll have to do something else. Instead of replying to emails while I’m out and about today, I’ll have to wait till I get home to my computer. Now, there is a certain segment of the population who will probably tell me all that is a good thing. We’re too attached to our technology anyway. We don’t have to be “on” 24/7. But here’s the thing. Having a mobile device with me as I go through my day makes me much more productive. I’m tracking tasks, scheduling appointments, replying to emails, communicating via text with my team, and keeping up on the days’ events all while I am on the go. I steal moments here and there to do these things, so nothing piles up. As a result, my inbox is always relatively clear, and my schedule is always relatively sane. What I’m worried about (particularly if the rice bath doesn’t work and I have to go shopping for a new smart phone) is that the failure of my technology is going to cause my systems to fail too. That what’s already going to be a busy and stressful week will be made more so because I can’t manage my information on the fly. Then again..maybe it will teach me some new ways of doing things. I’m not upset about my phone. That’s just a thing, and things can be replaced. I’m upset about the impact it has on my systems. But, because I always try to see the positive side of any situation, I’m going to look at this as an experiment – to see if I can improve my systems, by having them ripped out from under me. And, in the meantime, I have this very cute little retro Motorola V300 that my husband found laying around. I’ve decided I’m going to choose the cheesiest ring tone available, and hope that lots of people call me, just so I can feel all 2005. I’ll have the sheer, er….joy of typing text messages on a 10 button phone pad again. You know what? At least I still have a phone, and at least I have text messages. Those systems are intact. We’ll see about the rest after a few days. Wish me luck! UPDATE: The Motorola phone has seen better days. So, my business partner is kindly lending me her old BlackBerry Pearl to use in the meantime. Feeling a little better that at least I’ll have email on the go. And a QWERTY keyboard.
I Want to Know What You Had for Lunch
My, my, but we’re a serious bunch. This post is inspired by a YouTube video that my Twitter buddy Geoff Livingston posted recently. The video is called “20 Silly Twitter Remarks” and if you want a good chuckle, take 3 minutes and watch it. As I was watching, two thoughts occurred to me. First, for someone who isn’t on Twitter, these comments would probably seem even more absurd. Second, for the people who said those things (no attribution was given, but a few were recognizable to me), one of two things will happen. Either they’ll laugh right along with everyone else, or they’ll freak out, and get all hot under the collar about the fact that someone’s poking fun at them. I hope it’s the former, I really do. But past history of posts such as this dictates that someone is bound to get their knickers in a twist. I hope I’m wrong. Kudos to Geoff for being so darn funny and entertaining on camera. I hope he does many more like this. Business on the Sides, Party at the Back. Ahhh, the mullet – signature hairstyle of the average dude in the 70s and 80s. You had one. C’mon. Admit it. (I may have even had one for a while, but let’s not go there!) My theory as to why the mullet became popular was because it was deemed “acceptable” in the workplace. Companies didn’t want any long-haired hippies wandering around, so men started to chop the front of their hair short, to look more professional, but they left the back long to show that they still had a less serious, wild streak. The ability to genuinely laugh at oneself is charming, endearing, and sexy. But I think that often, especially in the online world, we’re trying SO HARD to exude a certain type of “personal brand”, that we forget that it’s okay to be silly once in a while. It’s okay to poke fun at ourselves, and even sometimes at those we respect (as long as it’s not hurtful). Remember when you were a kid, and that girl or boy on the playground would tease you incessantly? You’d go home and cry to your Mom about it, and she’d say “Oh, that means he/she likes you!”. Most of the time, that’s true. If someone teases you, it’s often a show of respect and admiration. Take it as a compliment. Of course, then tease them right back, to show that you love them too! So, sometimes, be a little less business, and a little more party. You’ll probably make some new friends, and for sure, you’ll have a lot more fun. Nobody Cares What You’re Having For Lunch. Or do they? I had conversation with a colleague the other day about Twitter. He is still working on figuring Twitter out, understanding how it fits into his day-to-day life, and how it can benefit his business. He told me that he had some reservations about being too “personal” in the social space, but at the same time he wanted to ensure he wasn’t just being that guy pushing his links out and not interacting. He was a bit stumped as to what he was supposed to be talking about. I said “Tell ’em what you had for lunch!” Naturally, he looked at me like I had three heads. Lots of “social media experts” will tell you that you shouldn’t talk about what you had for lunch on Twitter, because nobody cares. You shouldn’t post pictures of your cats – you’ll look like that crazy cat lady. And you shouldn’t goof off – people will think you’re not working hard enough. I guess I’m doing it wrong. I tell people what I have for lunch. Not every day, but often. What’s that gotten me? Ideas for recipes, which is great because I love to cook. Connections and friendships with talented foodies from all over, like my friends Don and Jenn from FoodiePrints, which is great because I love to talk about food. And, I’m doing Weight Watchers, so it’s tapped me into a very supportive Twitter community and we’re helping each other meet our weight loss goals. All this, from telling people what I had for lunch. I post pictures of my cats. Not every day, but often. What’s that gotten me? Well, I don’t have human children, so my pets are my kids. They are one of the most important parts of my life, just like your kids are. When they do something cute or funny, I want to share that with my friends, just like you want to share memories of your human kids. Lots of people seem to enjoy my pictures, and we have many fun conversations about it. My pet pictures have connected me to people who are now my clients. So I suppose I should thank my cats for being so darn cute, eh? I goof off. One day, a couple of months back, I was taking a break from work (yes, I do that occasionally), and I was poking around on Twitter. I realized that I had 4997 followers. Now, before you start talking to me about how follower numbers aren’t important, blah dee blah – this is about FUN. I thought it would be fun to offer a special surprise for my 5000th follower, so I suggested that maybe I’d write a song. The campaign started, and while I waited for my 5000th follower to show up, I wrote this. When @MCouto finally did come along, I posted the song. People got a good laugh. Then I went on with my day. What did this get me? Well, a new buddy in @MCouto, A.K.A “Follower 5000”. And I’ve met others because I follow him. The pay off? Purely social. But purely fun. Social media is not all business, all the time. It’s okay to use the forum to just have some fun. Share some snippets of your life, even if it’s the view