Let me start this one by saying first off that I don’t consider myself a feminist. There. We got that out of the way. I have spent the majority of my career in male-dominated professions. I’ve been the only female camera operator in media scrums (elbows up!), the only woman on the web development team, and the only woman in the boardroom more times than I can count. I’ve been mocked, teased, and patronized for being the “girl”, “young lady”, and “sweetheart” in all-guy situations. It’s given me a thick skin and some great lessons about how to earn and keep the respect of my peers. Which is all the more reason why the recent uprising against the Vanity Fair Article “America’s Tweethearts” gets way, way under my skin. Here’s a brief synopsis, in case you had something better to do. Vanity Fair published an article featuring “The Women of Twitter”, starring Internet celebrities Julia Roy , Sarah Evans, Stefanie Michaels, Felicia Day, Sarah Austin, and Amy Jo Martin. All of these women are successful entrepreneurs, actresses and marketing professionals in their own right. The article was definitely not spun to be an in-depth look at this group of savvy, professional, up and coming young women. It read more like a high school gossip column with a few dippy head bobs thrown in for good measure (like, ok, ok?). Flash forward to actress Felicia Day (she’s featured front and centre in the sexy photograph heading up the article) posting on her blog entitled “Disappointment”, her utter shock and dismay at what a lousy and unfair portrayal this article was of these six high profile and successful women. “But what really ENRAGED me what [sic] the general tone, which artfully made intelligent, articulate women sound vapid and superficial.”, said she. Day is in utter disbelief that Vanity Fair writer Vanessa Grigoriadis “…obviously wasn’t well-researched about the service, or the internet in general, really.” She’s in shock that this writer chose to paint her and her friends in a less-than respectable light, making them out to be bimbos getting by on looks alone and not for their actual smarts in the ways of the Interwebz. And herein lies the problem. First, Ms. Day is expecting that Vanity Fair is going to do a smart, insightful, in-depth article on the intelligent, savvy women that are “leading the charge” in the online world. Ahem. It’s Vanity Fair. Not sure if you’re read it recently, but “in-depth” and “insightful” are not the first things that come to mind. Vanity Fair is in the business of selling magazines, and to do that they put shirtless Tiger Woods on the cover and photos of trenchcoat-only wearing Web Grrlz on the inside. Sex sells. If these women wanted to have a serious and insightful look into what it takes to be a young, up and coming female entrepreneur in the Internet Age, then getting a spread in Vanity Fair was probably not the way to go. Second, they should have been tipped off during the “dream come true” photo shoot that something was up. Especially when they had to put on trench coats and nothing else. I don’t know about you, but the last time I was taken seriously in a board room I was clothed on the lower half of my body. Oh, I can hear it now. “Prude!!!”. Nope. I’m not a prude. I’m all for being well turned out. I like to look nice. That’s why I get my hair done and wear eyeliner and buy nice clothes. But if you want to truly be taken seriously as a “businesswoman”, then being naked under a trenchcoat for a magazine article is sending mixed signals, and that’s that. Finally, being popular in social media is not automatically a sign that you are a successful, career-oriented woman. The one thing I vehemently disagree with in the article is their portrayal of success being directly linked to the number of followers one has. The reporter seems really hung up on the numbers thing, and makes it seem like the only reason these women are successful is because they have lots of people hanging on their every word. Well that may be partially true, but I appreciate that these women probably work very hard and would likely be having success even if it wasn’t for their self described “Twitter addictions”. In the end, it’s really about self respect. If, as a woman, you want to be successful in business, then do good work, and earn the respect and trust of others. It’s okay to be attractive. It’s totally fine to be feminine. In fact, those are endearing qualities. But don’t put yourself in situations where people will be enticed to look at you as a sex object if you don’t want to be perceived that way. And don’t be disappointed if a magazine famous for doing fluff pieces doesn’t take you seriously. Your turn. Have at it in the comments. I’m ducking!
Making News in the Digital Era: A Review
I disagreed with David Henderson the first time I met him. Back in 2008 he wrote a post on his blog that in my opinion, discounted some fundamental truths about social media as I knew it at the time, and both myself and Danny Brown posted comments that expressed our side of the debate. I confess having been a bit nervous about posting my comment. David’s an Emmy Award winning former CBS news correspondent. He’s appeared on nearly every major news outlet in the world. He’s also one of the top strategic communications consultants around – his client list is extensive and high profile. This guy knows a thing or two about media and strategic communications. Perhaps he was right in his 2008 estimation about social media having “…yet to make a meaningful connection with the real world of business or organizations.” Perhaps I was barking up the wrong tree on this. But I sucked it up and wrote my comment anyway. David was kind enough to respond right away to our comments, and a lively discussion ensued between the three of us. David even asked myself and Danny to write follow-up post that highlighted some of the ways we had seen that businesses and organizations were using social media effectively. From that point forward, I’ve considered David not only to be someone who I have a great deal of respect and admiration for, but someone I consider a friend. So, with that said, I’m not making any apologies for giving a glowing review of his new book, “Making News in the Digital Era”. Am I biased? You’re darn right I am. But regardless…this is a great book, and if you are communicating online, it’s a must-read. Put simply, this is, in my opinion, the definitive book on how to be a more effective communicator in this age of convergence of traditional and new media. There are many people out here who are quick to discount people coming out of traditional, “old” media as being out of touch, utilizing old fashioned, ineffective methods, and that this behaviour is directly contributing to the demise of traditional media as we know it. For that reason, people may consider glossing over a book written by someone with such a long history in traditional media. Well, I can assure you, David Henderson is not your typical “old” media guy. He is firmly planted at the intersection between old and new media and has a level of understanding of traditional and modern approaches to communicating that I’ve not seen elsewhere. In this book he not only describes the important role that traditional media is still playing for communicators and CEOs, but how success in the digital era requires understanding what’s worked in the past, what’s still working, what to throw away and what we still need to learn. “Making News in the Digital Era” doesn’t muse about old and new media approaches – it provides real, concrete, strategic and tactical methods that you can actually use. David is handing out strategic communications advice here that is absolutely invaluable, whether you’re a PR pro, a CEO or anyone looking to tell better stories and attract the media’s attention. He has a wealth of experience and has generously embedded it in the pages of this book for us to take away and apply to our own projects. He makes it simple and clear. As mass media and new media come ever closer together, it’s critical for anyone who makes media, online or off, understand how to be heard above the noise. Pick up a copy of this book, and you’ll be well on your way to better understanding not only how, but WHY you need to be a more effective communicator.
My Left Hand and Three Words
I’ve recently decided to get really serious about learning to play the guitar better. I have all these friends who are so super talented at it…every time I hear and watch them play I think, “I want to try to do this too.” I may never be as good as this guy, but I am determined to work hard at it. And as a result, my left hand is killing me. I’ve never really had much of a relationship with my left hand. I’m very right handed. But now, I have to stretch my left hand beyond the 10 or so chords I’ve known since the 6th grade. I’m learning finger picking, scales, riffs, and all sorts of nifty tricks. I’m realizing very quickly that in order to have the agility to do these things well, my left hand, which typically doesn’t really listen so well, has to be forced into submission. I have to make it do things that it doesn’t want to do. And I have to make it do them over and over and over again until it starts to behave. I had no idea how many muscles there are in one’s hand. There are muscles in there I didn’t even know I had. I can feel every single one. And because I can really feel my left hand learning and stretching and growing into its new role, I am now more aware of it than ever. I’m stretching it beyond what I thought it was capable of. And I’m celebrating small successes (3 minor pentatonic scales in a row without a string buzz or screw up!) I’m also realizing the relationship between my left and right hands now. It’s not just about getting my left pinky to stretch across the frets and land in the right spot. It’s about doing that while my right hand is plucking the correct string. If my hands aren’t willing to collaborate, the whole thing’s a bust. Finally, I’m also very aware of my time limit with practicing. I did 2 hours the other day without a break. At the end of it, my hands were numb, and my brain wasn’t processing the new things so well. I knew that I’d overdone it. I don’t yet have the stamina built up to play at length, and I need to accept that until my strength is built up, I will have to get by on less. So there you have it – my 3 guiding words for 2010. Stretch. Collaborate. Less. These three realizations might just be my secret to finally being a better guitar player, but they are in fact, much more. Stretch. My left hand hurts because I am stretching it beyond what it’s been used to. Stretching means changing the shape and size of what I’m doing so I can do new things. It’s going to be uncomfortable. But it’s also going to get way easier the more I do it. The pain will subside, and then after a while, I’ll be able to see that my hard work has paid off. Collaborate. The only way to make beautiful music is to get both hands working together. Otherwise, it’s pretty boring. The same can be said for people. Sure, there are a lot of things I want to and can do on my own. Writing this blog, for instance. It’s all mine. But as I review the many goals I’ve set for myself this year, I see that there isn’t much I’m going to want to do without other people in the mix. True collaboration is about bringing smart brains together, and creating things that are remarkable. Whether it’s music, video projects, or other creative endeavours, I have no intention of flying solo this year. It’s going to be all about creating amazing things with other people. Less. I’ve set an ambitious goal as I fly firmly into my fortieth year. I’m going to work on less, in many aspects of my life. That doesn’t mean I’m giving up all my worldly possessions or anything…but I am going to think about how I can streamline what I do have and simplify things. I’m going to worry less. I’m going to spend less time focused on what has been or what’s coming and focus on now. I’m going to weigh less by eating less and doing more physical activity. I’m going to pay less attention to the negative people and situations that come into my life and more attention to the people and things that are important. I’m going to work with less, so I can have more. Make sense? Three words. I’ve got them written on my board, just like last year (Connect. Difference. Positive). I’m ready to take on 2010 boldly and without looking back. How about you?
Do Nothing to Do More
I’ve had a horribly unproductive day. I did a few things I had to do this morning. I had grand aspirations to do a whole lot of other things today too. I’m doing a bit of freelance work this week. I’m planning my projects for 2010, coming up with three words, setting goals. I’m getting caught up on my reading. I’m prepping for a new semester of school. I’ve got no shortage of things to do. Instead, I had a nap, played Rockband, practiced my guitar for 2 hours, and watched some stupid shows on TV. I felt terrible about it, but I simply couldn’t move my brain or my body in any other direction today. I was riddled with guilty feelings over the lack of achievement. I usually feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment at the end of every day, as I check things off my list and feel the satisfaction of forward movement. I am extremely uncomfortable when I’m unproductive. Then I stopped and thought – what if this day was meant to be exactly as it was? What if for once, I wasn’t forcing myself to be doing, doing, and doing some more? What if this was really just my body and mind’s way of telling me to slow down for a few hours? What if I told myself it’s ok to do this? Then I stopped worrying about what I wasn’t doing. It’s funny – just because I decided to do what I did today (stop doing), the world did not end. People did not give up on me. I didn’t fail. I didn’t miss the boat. It dawned on me that this time of doing “nothing” had not really been unproductive. In fact, it’s possible that I’ve been very productive. I rested (the nap), I did mindless things (video games and dumb TV), and I challenged myself creatively and technically (as evidenced by my extremely sore left hand due to learning some new guitar techniques). My perceived lack of “doing” today actually did a lot. It forced me to use my mind in a different way. It forced me to unwind these thoughts that have been swirling around the past several days and figure out how they really fit. And now on the other end of it, I’m feeling really, really clear. It’s the end of the year. Things are moving pretty slowly right now, and perhaps we should look at the pace of the next few days as an opportunity to truly reflect, refresh and recharge. We are all moving so fast towards a finish line we can’t see yet. It’s all fine and well to plan and prepare and set goals and come up with words and define things for 2010. But we don’t have to always be moving. We’re allowed to stop once in a while. We’re allowed to slack off a bit. In fact, we should probably all do it a bit more often. So, as you close out another year, maybe try to find some time (a few hours, or a few days) to just do nothing. You’ll probably find that it will do whole lot. It did for me.
Am I Breaking Up with Social Media?
It’s not you…it’s me. In 2007, I was introduced to social media at Podcamp Toronto. I happened upon a group of amazing people, many of whom I’m happy to call good friends today. What they were doing that weekend was remarkable. They were figuring out new ways to communicate, collaborate, do business, and build communities. They were exploring and creating and sharing in ways that 90% of the rest of the world didn’t even have an inkling of yet. But above all, they were there with open arms, willing to welcome media oldtimers like myself into the community without judgement. (Literally with open arms – I don’t think I’ve ever been hugged so much in my life as I was that weekend!). They let me ask silly questions. They didn’t laugh at my first blog post. They didn’t mock me when I asked what a DM was on Twitter. They led me through uncharted territory, and changed the way I do business and connect. To those people (they know who they are), I am forever grateful. But I think my love affair with social media is over. It was passionate, steamy, obsessive, blissful, and heart wrenching. There were the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and everywhere in between. I’ve been moved to tears, laughed my butt off, and had thoughts provoked in ways I never imagined possible. But the time has come. I’ve got to end it. Now before you go getting all in a tizzy…I’m not going anywhere. We can still be friends. The best of friends, in fact. But here’s the reason I can’t be with social media anymore in the same way. Frankly, I’m ready to move on. I’m not saying I know everything – quite the contrary – there’s still so much more to learn! The problem is, we are stuck. We, the ground-breaking, cutting edge super early adopters, the ones who were part of the first 1000 people on Twitter, are still having the same conversations.We’re still talking about how to use Twitter more effectively, how to get more readers on our blogs, how to maximize ROI from social media. We’re still talking about how to convince our boss to use social media. I’ve read and written more on those topics in the past 3 years…I could fill an encyclopedia. Do we still need to be educating people, helping businesses, and figuring out ways to use new media? Of course we do. It’s here. It’s happening now. We need to keep doing it because that’s what we know. We’re good at it. But we also need to be looking ahead. We need to stop twittering about Twitter, and look down the pipe at what things like Semantic technology and linked data are going to mean to us and our clients in 2 years. We need to look at what video is going to be doing in a few years and how the way we consume mass media and new media are going to merge and change. We need to look at the new technology that companies are developing and really understand how that’s going to impact us. And above all, we need to know where the opportunities will be. We don’t need to be looking at the “big thing” that is social media anymore. We get it. We have our arsenal, we know how to build effective strategies, and mould them and shape them into successful, measurable action plans for our clients. We’re out there, we’re doing it, and we’re making it work. But the real danger is, if we don’t start to look beyond the current state of social media, then in a couple of years when it all changes, we’re going to be right in the same place we were in 2008 – trying to navigate new terrain without really knowing what direction to go. So, social media…it’s been fun. I’m taking away from this passionate affair a new way of communicating, building relationships and doing business. I’m also taking away some really awesome new friends (yes, social media, I get to keep the friends in this break up). I’m passing what I’ve learned from you on to my clients, and helping them to be more successful. But I need to be somewhere else now. I need to be out there…understanding what’s coming next so that I can be ready when it gets here. It’s been fun. I’ll always love you. xoxo
What I Learned from TEDxOttawa
I’m not going to write a post about how great TEDxOttawa was for me. I’m not going to do a synopsis of the day, the amazing speakers, the brilliant teamwork, or the terrific food. All of that is true. The event had a profound impact on me, from many points of view. I’ve already discussed that with many of my friends and family. What I want to do is tell you that I learned. I want to share this because, the essence of TED is not always about getting in the big names. It’s not about flash and fancy effects. It’s about sharing new ideas. What sets TED and the independently run TEDx events apart from other conferences is that they are very personal experiences. Every single person who attends takes away something different. And the format is not for everyone. Some people will come away changed. Some will come away with new things to think about. Some may not. And that’s okay. But I think if we don’t share what we’ve learned, then we’re not doing the event justice. My goal here is not to centre out any one person. Again, what I took away from the conference may be entirely different than what someone else gained. I look forward to hearing other perspectives in the comments. Lesson #1: You are not defined by what happens to you. Bob LeDrew and I have been friends for a couple of years. We met on Twitter. In fact, I don’t even think we met in person until about 6 months after we had become friends. (The Internet is funny that way.) Bob got up on Saturday to do a talk about music, something he is tremendously passionate about. I knew that it was going to be moving. And it was. But what came as a surprise to me was not his passion for music – I already knew about that. Bob, a man I’ve known for 2 years, told us two things in his talk that I didn’t know about him. Two very personal and tragic things. It came as a complete surprise to me. The thing is, the fact that he’d never mentioned these aspects of his life to me before actually wasn’t that surprising to me. Why? Bob does not define himself by what has happened to him. Yes, it’s part of his story. But Bob is defined by his passion for music, and the way he cares about his community. This is a man who, 2 weeks ago when two local women’s shelters were tragically burned down and destroyed everything the residents had, ran around town collecting donations from anyone he could, so those women could rebuild their lives again. This is a man who opens his home to strangers once a month so he can share his passion for music. He’s got some pretty damn good reasons he could feel sorry for himself. But self pity is not in Bob’s vocabulary, and we can all learn something from this. Bad things happen to good people all the time. We question it. But instead of being defined by the tragedies in our lives, we need to accept, move forward, and replace our sadness with triumph and positivity. Only then, are we truly alive. Lesson #2: It’s not about things. It’s about people. I had the immense pleasure of spending time this weekend with Jowi Taylor. For those who may not know, Jowi is the creator of the Voyageur guitar, a one-of-a-kind instrument custom built from 64 pieces of Canadian history. You can read the whole story on his web site at www.sixstringnation.com. The story has a personal side for me, in that the entire front of the guitar is made from wood taken from the Golden Spruce, a sacred tree that existed on Haida Gwaii, a small island on the west coast of Canada, where I spent much of my childhood. The tree is thought to be unique in that it contained no chlorophyll, and yet managed to survive for 300 years. Tragically, the Golden Spruce was cut down by a madman in 1997. The Haida Peoples of the island equated this event to a drive by shooting. I remember my heart being shattered when I learned what this person had done. But this story is about more than a sacred tree, or any of the other 63 elements that make up this amazing instrument. Voyageur is a symbol of a country. It tells the story of our nation through objects. But what I learned from Jowi this weekend is that it’s not about the things. Yes, they are special. But they represent stories, and stories are made up of people. Each item in Voyageur tells a story of people. Go to the web site, read them. Voyageur is a cultural icon. But it’s not intended to be stowed away in some museum somewhere. It’s meant to be shared. It belongs to us. Thousands of people have held and played that instrument. When I picked up that guitar to play it on Saturday night, I not only felt a connection to all those Canadians whose history lives inside it, but to all those Canadians who have held it and played it before me. Jowi is a remarkable person, not because he created this thing, but because he so selflessly shares it with us. He taught me that countries are not made of things. They are made of people. Jowi Taylor makes me want to be a better Canadian. Lesson #3: Limitations are perceptions only. I’m not an athlete/musician/dancer/math whiz, so there’s no way I could ever do that. I tell myself things like that all the time..we all do. All of us except maybe Ray Zahab. This beer swilling, junk food eating, pack a day smoking couch potato got up one morning and decided to change his life. He didn’t just resolve to eat healthier, quit smoking, and exercise. Nope. Ray decided to run. Across the Sahara
Talking TEDxOttawa and Announcing Something New!
This afternoon I sat down with my friend Aronado to record a quick bit about this weekend’s big event, TEDxOttawa. The crew has been working really hard to pull things together, and we’re thrilled with how things are looking. Prepare to be entertained, enlightened and informed. Don’t forget to follow the live stream if you can’t attend in person. In addition, we also announced a bit of a new element for Aronado’s show, StartupLucky. I’m going to be coming on board as the “Canadian Connection” of the show, bringing viewers the low down on the startup scene in Canada and interviewing amazing folks from coast to coast to coast! Check out the show here….
Follow Your Own Path
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth. Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same. And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I– I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. — Robert Frost One of the things that has always attracted me to social media is that it allows me to get a glimpse into other peoples’ lives. Reading blogs like In Over Your Head from Julien Smith, or Levite Chronicles from Jon Swanson gives me a snapshot into what someone else is thinking at that moment. Following people on Twitter like Christopher Penn and Danny Brown provides a stream of real time thoughts, feelings and inspiration. Facebook allows me to instantly answer the question “What ever happened to…?” as I pick up where I left off with friends from over the years. We are more connected to each others’ thoughts and feelings than we have ever been. We can literally follow along as people go about their daily lives, but more than that, in an instant, we can become involved in the story. All it takes is one comment, one reply, or one small note to open up doors we never thought possible. Thinking of how we’ve intertwined our lives thrills me. I am close friends with people I never thought I’d have an opportunity to meet. I’m doing business with people all over the world, many of whom I’ve never met in person. We’re bonded together, with some sort of technological epoxy, and that bond is not easily broken. But an issue starts to occur when that bond becomes too significant. We begin to pay too much attention to everyone elses’ life and we start to forget our own focus. We look at all the brilliant people around us, and we start to compare ourselves to them. “Is this blog post going to measure up?”, “Am I saying the right things?”, “Am I the next [name of favourite social media guru]?” I learn so much from my friends out here in this world. Every day I’m given new things to think about, new ways to expand my business, my career, my spirit. But the minute I start to get too wrapped up in other peoples’ thoughts and opinions, I need to take a step back. I need to get re-focused on my own path. I’ve got to check in with myself every now and again to see where I am on my path. It’s important to have mentors, it really is. I’ve had some dandy ones, and I still do. Everyone needs people to look up to and learn about success, and failure, and everything in between. It’s all fine and well to be inspired by someone’s achievements, but never, ever, EVER aspire to be “just like” anyone. Look around you. See those people who are succeeding the way you want to? You can have that too. But you can’t do it the same way they did. Why? Because everyone’s path is different. Let’s say your dream is to be the CEO of your own successful company. You see someone you know doing this and you want it too; he’s building his company, getting lots of clients, speaking all over the country, and starting to rake in the dough. You begin to study how that person got there, and you start to realize a few things. First, his spouse has a really good full time job, and they were able to afford to be a one-income household for a while. Second, they don’t have kids to feed. Third, he’s got an investor on board who has put forward a good chunk of change to get things moving. But you’re a single mom, with big rent and big bills and you absolutely can’t afford to give up your day job. You don’t have any investors, and don’t have the time or the money to travel around to try and get some, either. Suddenly your dream of having your own company starts to fade. You go back to life as you know it. And that is where the problem lies. We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others. If you want to be the CEO of your own successful company, it doesn’t matter HOW you get there. What’s important is that you get there. We all travel our own path in this life. Our lives intersect with others, sometimes very deeply, as with our family, our spouses, our friends, and our mentors. But in the end, it’s just you. You are the one who has to get out of bed every morning and decide what you’re going to do with your life. You are the one who knows your circumstances better than anyone, and you are the only one who can decide what step to take next. Oh sure, you can ask advice from those close to you, you can read and learn and share and ask questions. But it’s you, and only you, that has to make the decision. Lots of single moms with little time and less income become successful businesspeople. They do it because they figure out how to succeed in spite of their circumstances. They don’t compare themselves to others. They listen, and learn, and absorb information. But then they make decisions based on what they know deep down
You Might Have Noticed I Haven’t Been Here…
It occurred to me today that I haven’t been blogging much over here. Sorry about that. Most of my blogging efforts have been going into a new startup project, Ottawa Tonite. Myself and my friend Cheryl Gain, with the help of MANY wonderful volunteers, built Ottawa Tonite out of the need we saw for a one-stop source for local arts and entertainment. We want to give readers a behind the scenes perspective on the local music, theatre, visual arts, literary, and food and drink scene in Ottawa, and cover things that are a little more off the beaten path. The site has been consuming much of our time, and much of my usual writing energy has been going into covering stuff for the site. So, if you’re looking for me, that’s where I am. Feel free to check out some of the articles I’ve done: Local Musicians and the Meaning of Community The Magic of the House Concert ….but DEFINITELY check out some of the amazing stuff our contributors have been doing. Local band Silver Creek has been blogging from the road while touring Canada, we have exclusive footage from an amazing play by Conor McPherson called Shining City, the lowdown on the Hintonburg Supper Club, and much, much more! Stop by and have a look around, check out some local music on our music player, and let us know what you think! You can also find Ottawa Tonite on Twitter @ottawatonite, or join our Facebook group.
How to Overcome Stage Fright
I used to have horrible stage fright. It probably stems from the fact that I’m inherently a shy person. I overcame my shyness though, and that’s always the first step. Here’s how I did it. Once I overcame my shyness, I became much better at person to person interactions. Now I have no issue with meeting new people and striking up conversations. But the last great frontier of my shyness battle has always been stage fright. It seems kind of crazy, though – I’ve been performing in front of people for years. I’ve sung in choirs, a capella quartets, and even done the occasional duet or solo thing. I have spoken in front of people many, many times. For a long time though, I didn’t feel like I was at my best with it. My nerves always got in the way of my performance. I was too concerned about messing up, and if I actually did hit a wrong note or lose my train of thought, I’d beat myself up about it for days. The end result was, I wasn’t really enjoying the act of performing. One of my goals for this year was to do more public speaking. I knew this would require me, for once and for all, to get over my stage fright. I wasn’t entirely sure how I was going to do that, but just recently, I’ve figured it out. Here’s what I know now: Watch, listen, and learn. The first thing I did on my path to being a better public speaker was watch people who are really great speakers. I spent a lot of time looking at talks given by speakers I admire, like Chris Brogan, Christopher Penn, and Seth Godin. These guys are outstanding storytellers and magnificent public speakers. I watched videos of them over and over again, and once I got the message of their talk, I’d go back and watch again to listen to the way they pieced stories together, how they used slides, how they moved around on stage. I learned a ton. I’m still learning from them all the time. Watch people you admire. Learn what makes them successful. Then don’t copy them – but integrate what you’ve learned from them, and create your own style. Think it out. Whether it’s a musical performance or a speaking engagement, it’s really important to put some thought into things before you hop on stage. I’ve been to a few incredible musical performances lately, from immensely talented guys who know how to weave music and story into everything they do (even when their songs don’t have lyrics!). Just check out guys like Corin Raymond and Sean Cotton, David Ross Macdonald, and Jonathan Byrd when you get a chance. These guys ooze talent – and they are masterful storytellers. It takes a tremendous amount of thought, time, and effort to be an effective storyteller. You’ve got to spend time, head down, and figure out how you’re going to convey your story to your audience in compelling way. You’ve got to figure out the essence of what you are trying to say. But once you know it in your heart, the words (or the melodies) will just flow, and it’s unlikely stage fright will enter the equation at that point. Practice practice practice. I was invited to speak at the first ever Ignite Ottawa this past Thursday night (you can read about what I talked about here). For those of you who are not familiar with the format, each speaker gets 5 minutes and 20 slides to share a message. The catch is, each slide auto-advances every 15 seconds. And I tell you – it takes a LOT of practice to get that part right. I spent the better part of a week, in all my spare moments, practicing my talk. It was to the point where as soon as I’d launch into it, the dog would just sigh and leave the room. By far the best way to combat stage fright is to practice. And practice. And then practice some more. BUT…..don’t practice too much. Learn your cut off point – because if you overdo it, it will sound too rehearsed. If you are striving for perfection, you won’t achieve it. So stop that. Practice until you can do it backwards and forwards, and then stop practicing. You’re ready. Get over yourself. Probably the number one reason people get stage fright is because they are worried about what people will think. This was by far my biggest problem. My story was solid. I’d practiced my brains out. But I would get up on stage, and look at all those people, looking at me, waiting for me to do something, and I’d feel a rush of adrenaline to my head. My stomach would tense up, and my breathing would become shallow. I’d open my mouth and…glak. It took every ounce of courage I had to get through it. And after it was over, I’d feel like throwing up. Not really a compelling reason to want to get on stage….ever. But then I realized something. I was getting myself all worked up, worrying about what people were thinking. I wasn’t focused on the moment. I knew I had the ability to hit the right notes, or remember the next point. But I was too distracted by all those eyes looking at me. Performing well takes focus, and the best way to maintain that focus is to be 100% completely in your performance. Connect with the audience, but don’t try to read their minds. Do what you came to do – entertain, inform, enlighten. The end result will be not only a better show, but you will have actually enjoyed being on stage. I’ve made a lot of positive strides in the past year with overcoming my stage fright. Now I look forward to being on stage. And hopefully, what I’m doing when I’m up there has improved as well. So what’s your take on