You know what’s amazing? That even though I live in one of the coldest, snowiest Capital cities in the world, I can sit by the edge of my 80 degree pool, with birds chirping, water glistening, in the sunblock scented air on a hot summer day, in my own backyard, and type this to you. That I literally have the entire world at my fingertips, with no wires attached. I can find answers to just about anything and talk to just about anyone with the click of a button. That in just two short years, I have met more people from more parts of the world than I ever thought possible, and that I’ve done it mostly from my sofa, in what seems like just a brief moment in time. That I’ve forged some of the best friendships of my life out of these moments we’ve shared. That I’ve been blessed to have had the opportunity to meet some of you, my friends, in person, and that when I did, I felt lucky beyond words to know you. That if not for this place we share here, my business would have probably remained relatively local. That I would have missed so many wonderful, amazing opportunities to work with you, to help you, to share with you. That by sharing what I know, and by learning what you know, we’ve all become stronger, wiser, and better. And we’ve done it together. That the things we are able to accomplish together knows no bounds. It’s only held back by our fear and our self-imposed limits. But because we have each other, we will never have to go it alone. That the Internet could end tomorrow…but what we all have with each other will continue on. It’s amazing, isn’t it?
Breaking the Email Habit
I have a problem with email. The problem I have is not email itself – it’s a marvellous tool, and when used well, it’s extremely effective, highly efficient, and wonderfully convenient. The problem I have with email is that it’s been running me. Over the past several months, I’ve gotten involved in lots of different things – 12for12k, SAW Video Co-op, Algonquin College, this blog, an arts and entertainment web site (launching soon!) – this, combined with my day to day work and personal email, meant I was receiving upwards of 200 emails a day. It was getting out of control, and fast. I have 3 email accounts that I use regularly, plus I monitor several others for my business. Going through my incoming mail was confusing at best. Inbox=0 was not even an option. Then I discovered AwayFind, and the free e-book I got when I signed up, and things started to change. (Disclosure: I wrote a review about this tool ages ago when they were first starting out and they were kind enough to provide me with an account to try out – but that’s not why I like them! This is simply an excellent tool!) I learned how to filter and categorize my incoming email so I was only dealing with that which was most important, and leaving everything else till later. I unsubscribed from lots of automated services that did nothing but send me junk. I started filing my email using Gmail’s labels and I never looked back. Now, Inbox=0 is a reality for me much of the time. I’m up and running smoothly with my email system now, but I have to admit that I’ve fallen off the wagon in the past while in some ways. Since I got my iPhone last year it’s been all too easy to pay attention to those new messages as they fly into my inbox. I found myself checking way too often (sometimes 2 or 3 times an hour!), to the detriment of my productivity and sometimes the people around me. You see, it’s one thing to check in on messages, it’s another when the content of those messages pushes you to action – whether it’s dealing with a situation immediately, or even just putting it in the forefront of your mind, so you can’t focus on the task (or meeting, or lunch with your Mom) at hand. Something had to give. I’m taking some new steps with my email, starting this week. Although I don’t think I’ll ever be Tim Ferriss (who apparently checks his email only once a week or so), I think I can get to a point where I’m only checking a few times a day. There are a few things that need to happen in order for this to be successful. It’s not just my behaviour that has to change. I can “not” check email. The problem is, we live in a culture of immediacy now. Some are worse than others, but there’s this expectation that if you receive an email that you will reply almost instantaneously, and if you don’t, well, I’ll have to find other ways to get your attention. We all know people who email, then text us, then leave a voicemail to say “Did you get my email?”. Ugh. If I’m going to change the way I deal with email, I need to also set the expectations of those who email me. AwayFind helps this some. But it’s also letting people know that this is how I choose to use the tool, and if you need me urgently, this is the path you need to take. Of course, there will always be the issue that what’s urgent to someone else may not be urgent to me. I haven’t quite solved that one yet. Shut it up. I used to have my iPhone set so that it would go out and check for new emails every 20 minutes or so and automatically chime when new mail was received. Well, with 200 emails a day, you can only imagine how irritating that got. Not to mention, looking at that little red new email indicator saying “25” after a one hour meeting was quite disheartening. So first, I turned the notification chime off. Then, I went a step further and only let the phone download new messages when I opened the email app. Then, I went a step further than that, and moved my email icon off my home screen to the second page. Out of sight, out of mind. Now, I check email on my phone when it’s convenient for ME. Or I use the tool to send a message to someone from the road. No more distractions! Schedule email time. We’ve all heard this one before, and this is the one that’s hardest for me. I am trying to check my email only three times a day – once when I logon in the morning (anytime between 6:30am and 8:30am), once after lunch, and once either before the end of the business day or in the evening after dinner, depending on my schedule. I’ve only been at it a couple of days so far, but it seems to be working. I’ll let you know how it goes (Ahem….I could use a little “go Suze!” encouragement right about now – hint hint! 😉 Don’t let it get to you. Whatever happens in email, stays in email. If you are being good, checking a few times a day, then you won’t be ruled by what is lurking there when you’re not on it. When you sit down to work on your email, then focus on working on it. If you get an undesirable email, which we all do from time to time, don’t respond right away. Reactionary responses are almost always a bad idea. Give it a day (or at least a few hours, if you can’t manage a whole day). And whatever you do, don’t take it personally, and don’t drag the negativity around with you. When you need to deal with an email that
Breaking the Email Habit
I have a problem with email. The problem I have is not email itself – it’s a marvellous tool, and when used well, it’s extremely effective, highly efficient, and wonderfully convenient. The problem I have with email is that it’s been running me. Over the past several months, I’ve gotten involved in lots of different things – 12for12k, SAW Video Co-op, Algonquin College, this blog, an arts and entertainment web site (launching soon!) – this, combined with my day to day work and personal email, meant I was receiving upwards of 200 emails a day. It was getting out of control, and fast. I have 3 email accounts that I use regularly, plus I monitor several others for my business. Going through my incoming mail was confusing at best. Inbox=0 was not even an option. Then I discovered AwayFind, and the free e-book I got when I signed up, and things started to change. (Disclosure: I wrote a review about this tool ages ago when they were first starting out and they were kind enough to provide me with an account to try out – but that’s not why I like them! This is simply an excellent tool!) I learned how to filter and categorize my incoming email so I was only dealing with that which was most important, and leaving everything else till later. I unsubscribed from lots of automated services that did nothing but send me junk. I started filing my email using Gmail’s labels and I never looked back. Now, Inbox=0 is a reality for me much of the time. I’m up and running smoothly with my email system now, but I have to admit that I’ve fallen off the wagon in the past while in some ways. Since I got my iPhone last year it’s been all too easy to pay attention to those new messages as they fly into my inbox. I found myself checking way too often (sometimes 2 or 3 times an hour!), to the detriment of my productivity and sometimes the people around me. You see, it’s one thing to check in on messages, it’s another when the content of those messages pushes you to action – whether it’s dealing with a situation immediately, or even just putting it in the forefront of your mind, so you can’t focus on the task (or meeting, or lunch with your Mom) at hand. Something had to give. I’m taking some new steps with my email, starting this week. Although I don’t think I’ll ever be Tim Ferriss (who apparently checks his email only once a week or so), I think I can get to a point where I’m only checking a few times a day. There are a few things that need to happen in order for this to be successful. It’s not just my behaviour that has to change. I can “not” check email. The problem is, we live in a culture of immediacy now. Some are worse than others, but there’s this expectation that if you receive an email that you will reply almost instantaneously, and if you don’t, well, I’ll have to find other ways to get your attention. We all know people who email, then text us, then leave a voicemail to say “Did you get my email?”. Ugh. If I’m going to change the way I deal with email, I need to also set the expectations of those who email me. AwayFind helps this some. But it’s also letting people know that this is how I choose to use the tool, and if you need me urgently, this is the path you need to take. Of course, there will always be the issue that what’s urgent to someone else may not be urgent to me. I haven’t quite solved that one yet. Shut it up. I used to have my iPhone set so that it would go out and check for new emails every 20 minutes or so and automatically chime when new mail was received. Well, with 200 emails a day, you can only imagine how irritating that got. Not to mention, looking at that little red new email indicator saying “25” after a one hour meeting was quite disheartening. So first, I turned the notification chime off. Then, I went a step further and only let the phone download new messages when I opened the email app. Then, I went a step further than that, and moved my email icon off my home screen to the second page. Out of sight, out of mind. Now, I check email on my phone when it’s convenient for ME. Or I use the tool to send a message to someone from the road. No more distractions! Schedule email time. We’ve all heard this one before, and this is the one that’s hardest for me. I am trying to check my email only three times a day – once when I logon in the morning (anytime between 6:30am and 8:30am), once after lunch, and once either before the end of the business day or in the evening after dinner, depending on my schedule. I’ve only been at it a couple of days so far, but it seems to be working. I’ll let you know how it goes (Ahem….I could use a little “go Suze!” encouragement right about now – hint hint! 😉 Don’t let it get to you. Whatever happens in email, stays in email. If you are being good, checking a few times a day, then you won’t be ruled by what is lurking there when you’re not on it. When you sit down to work on your email, then focus on working on it. If you get an undesirable email, which we all do from time to time, don’t respond right away. Reactionary responses are almost always a bad idea. Give it a day (or at least a few hours, if you can’t manage a whole day). And whatever you do, don’t take it personally, and don’t drag
Social Media – Ur Doin' it Wrong
I see that IZEA is has gotten into the sponsored tweets biz. I see that Mashable has some mixed feelings about it. This is not going to be a post about whether the business ventures that Ted Murphy and his gang are getting into are right or wrong. It’s not going to be a post about what Mashable or anyone else in the social mediaverse thinks about it. If you want to hear the opinions of the greater Web, the comments on Mashable’s post above will definitely give you that, and it’s recommended reading for anyone interested in the subject. This is a post about social media and how we’re all doing it wrong. It’s not this post, though. Chris already did that post. And he’s right about lots of the things we’re doing wrong, so listen to him. Or not. What we’re doing wrong is not entirely about the “how” we’re doing it. It’s also a big part about the “what” we’re doing. We’re building entire businesses around social media. Social media is not a business model. Just like television, or radio, or newspapers aren’t in and of themselves business models. Social media is a medium, just like those other things. It adds a new dimension to the word “media”. The social part. It’s different from those traditional mediums because it’s not just me listening, or watching, or reading. It’s me conversing, creating, and teaching. It’s you, doing the same. Social media is not THEM and US. It’s US and US. And because it’s about us, we can build opportunities. But we can’t make the medium itself the opportunity. Guess McLuhan was right. Want to make a living in social media? Stop trying to make the medium work for you. Instead, work within the medium. We’re telling others how they should do things. Even though some of us have been messing around with this stuff for what seems like years, social media is still in its infancy. (Ok, well maybe it’s a toddler now.) The point is, it’s all still very new to many people. I talked to someone the other day who had never heard of Twitter (gasp!). As media and communications professionals, we are up to our necks in this stuff every day, because it’s our business to understand it. Or, perhaps we just like it because it interests us, you know, like knitting is an interest. We sit up here on our pedestals and we tell others that they must do it this way or that way if they want to be successful. That the only way to do it right is to be constantly connecting with people; that just listening is not acceptable. That using this tool or that tool will give you an advantage over others in terms of getting your message heard. Like it’s some kind of big contest. What I love about social media is that it’s a “choose your own adventure” medium. You can use it however you like. You can have purely social interactions. You can do business. You can help the greater good. You can just listen if you like. Are there techniques you can implement to maximize your efficiency, and better meet the goals you have? Absolutely. But it’s YOUR experience. So make what you want of it. We’re forgetting why we’re doing this. Ironically, I first learned about social media at an in-person event – a Podcamp. I already had an idea about some of the tools, but I mostly showed up out of curiosity as to what all these people were doing talking about podcasting and social networks and blogging and such. The in-person experience I had there guided my online experience. The friends I made that first time I still have today. I’ve made many, many more since then. People – it’s about the people. We are all here together, sharing this space, having experiences, learning, growing, and connecting. We’re using technology as an interface to our interaction. The tools are here to make it easier, but they are not why we’re here. Too often we get caught up in the tools, and too often others get left out because they are made to believe that one has to be a computer whiz or have the guidance of an “expert” in order to participate. It’s simply not true. So repeat after me: It’s not about the tools. It’s not about the tools. It’s not about the tools. So what this post isn’t about is what you aren’t doing right (huh?). It’s about what we keep trying. And how we keep making it work. And forgetting about all the other stuff. But wait – maybe me, and Ted Murphy from IZEA, and Pete Cashmore from Mashable – we’re just doing it wrong. Or we’re doing it right – in our own ways.
The Art of the Gimmick
Gimmicks get a bad rap. Often they are associated with snake oil, paying too much for cheap goods, and smarmy salesmen who just want to take your money and give you little in return. It’s true, there’s a lot of gimmicky stuff out there that ain’t worth the package it comes in. But gimmicky doesn’t automatically have to be a negative. In fact, when executed properly, it can be one of the best ways to draw a crowd – and a paying one at that. Rock and roll music has been around since the 1950s, we all know that. Guitars, drums, bass. Sometimes a keyboard or organ thrown in for good measure. Men and women, grooving, bopping and moving us with their beats and lyrics. There was a point in the late 60s where rock and roll music had become so commonplace that new bands were cropping up every other week, it seemed. Rock and roll, though still extremely popular, started to feel like a pair of old shoes….comfortable and worn, but maybe a bit tired. Then, in the early 1970s, four young guys from New York City changed all that. It’s not that their music was so much different. It was still rock and roll, and even though it was the hard stuff – the screaming electric kind of music our parents cringe at – it didn’t have a hugely unique sound compared to the other heavy rock bands of the day. What was different about these boys? It was how they looked, and how they performed. They were dramatic and scary, with their black and white and silver painted faces, their huge black hair, and their giant platform boots. They towered over the crowd on a stage flooded with lights and smoke and exploding stuff. They broke their guitars and launched rockets. They spit (gasp) blood! KISS was all about the gimmick. Think about it. If these guys had come onto the scene as your run of the mill rock band, in a time when the world was inundated with rock machines like The Who, Led Zeppelin, and Black Sabbath, how hard do you think they would have had to climb to reach the top? Now I’m not saying that KISS couldn’t have done it on their own merits. They are tight as heck, have powerful vocals and great stage energy. All the elements of a great rock band. But perhaps they sensed that rock fans were ready for something more. So they donned wild costumes, and took stage show performance to a whole new level. They found a gimmick, and they took it to the extreme – making it mysterious, a little frightening, and definitely fun. KISS has sold over 85 million albums in the past 35+ years (source: Wikipedia). They must be doing something right. I think part of their secret is they don’t take themselves too seriously. Just check out this video of Gene Simmons on the Mike Douglas show in 1974 and that is pretty clear. Gimmickry is an art. And like any art, that means that when it’s executed well, it is brilliant. When executed poorly, it’s laughable. So how can a gimmick work? Let’s use “KISS” principles: Be really really good. KISS is not just a gimmick trying to be a really good rock band. They are a really good rock band, with a gimmick. They work hard at being good at what they do as musicians. Then they put the gimmick on top of that, and make it something extraordinary. Don’t sell the gimmick, sell the product. People aren’t buying the KISS Army. They aren’t buying the makeup, the weird hair, or the platform boots. They are buying the experience that those things create. The gimmick is what gets their attention. The experience is what keeps them around. For 35 years. (Now THAT’S sticky!) Be over the top, but be practical about it. Ace Freely did an interview once where he said he can’t go on his knees anymore when rockets shoot out of his guitar, because his doctor told him he was wrecking his knees. He said “I’m sorry to my fans for not being able to do this, but I want to be able to walk.” The rocket-guitar-knees thing was a trademark. But practicality (and safety) had to overrule. Make your gimmick something nobody has ever seen before. Be 100% unique, but be 150% practical. Don’t let the gimmick get in the way of health, sanity or profits. Gimmicks. They aren’t so bad after all. As media makers, marketers and storytellers, sometimes a little gimmick is all we need to get the kind of attention we seek. But over the top doesn’t have to mean giving up value. Provide value first, and use gimmick as a tool. And who knows, before long, you may just be ready to rock and roll all night (and party every day).
How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying
Ok, alright. The title of the post might be a bit misleading. I am a firm believer that anything you do takes a certain amount of trying. Real work, I call it. But I’ve been thinking about success a lot lately…about what it is that makes people successful and what makes them unsuccessful. What I’m discovering is, it’s not about succeeding without really trying…it’s about figuring out the right stuff to try. So here are a few things that I’ve been learning about how to succeed. It’s stuff I’m trying, and it seems to be working for me. Never, ever, ever take things personally. I’m lousy at this…truly lousy. I think the reason I’m not great at it is because I find it to be a bit of a contradiction. This is my business. I’ve invested a great deal into it, emotionally, physically, and financially. It is intensely personal. The ironic thing is, it’s that very emotional attachment that can get you into trouble. If a crisis hits, then it’s far too easy to let emotions take over. Suddenly you are in a reactive state, and all proactive reasoning goes out the door. My brilliant business partner and I had a discussion about this the other day. She is one of the calmest people I know when it comes to dealing with a crisis. I asked her how she does it. She said “It’s easy. You need to become aware of the fact that your first instinct is to have an emotional reaction. Then you need to let it go.” When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Of course there’s going to be an emotional reaction to the adversity. That’s just human nature. It can’t be avoided. But take a moment to acknowledge that reaction. Then, take a deep breath, and let that emotion go. Push it aside. What lies beneath is sound judgement, reasoning, and, remarkably, the solution. Being an entrepreneur is just about the most personal thing you can do. But it’s that very thing that can mean the difference between a good decision and a bad one. Cooler heads prevail, always. Try to stop taking everything so personally. You’ll soon see that success is just one calm reaction away. Lift people up. Business, to some people, is first and foremost about making gobs of money. I’ve always considered that business is about people first. The most successful businesses are the ones where people are put at the top of the heap. The way I see it, if I have happy staff, they will do good work, and then I will have happy clients. And if I have happy clients, I will have gobs of money. Kinda makes sense, eh? It’s not hard to have happy people. Of course you have to pay them appropriately and on time, but there’s so much more to it than that. You need to lift them up. Genuinely. Effortlessly. Lifting someone up is not about putting them on a pedestal, telling them how great they are all the time. For many people, that just makes them uncomfortable. Lifting someone up is about really listening to what people are saying. It’s about helping them find their passion. It’s about understanding what they may need from you in order to help them meet their goals. And then, it’s about genuinely, gently, placing them up so the world can see the amazing things they can do. Try lifting people up on a daily basis. Listen, help, and give. It will come back to you tenfold. Allow yourself to be lifted too. Often as entrepreneurs, we spend a lot of time focusing on other people. We’re so busy with our heads down, pushing forward, dealing with everything we need to do in a given day, week, and year, that we forget sometimes that other people are watching us. This morning I received a couple of really nice messages from a friend. The words he said resonated so much with me, and were so kind and sincere, that it actually made me a bit emotional. I took myself completely by surprise at my reaction, but I was overwhelmed with the sudden realization that someone could see me this way – and that my friend probably wasn’t alone in his observation. I am terrible at taking compliments (almost as lousy as I am at not taking things personally). But I am learning that as I’m spending all of this time putting it out there; whether it’s in the work I’m doing for my clients, through my blog, or in my online and offline relationships with people, that somehow, even in my own small way, I’m making an impact. I may not be changing the world with everything I do, but I know that all of the work that I’m doing right now, all of the sacrifices that I’m making and that my husband is making and that my family is making are worth it. Because as much as I’m lifting others, I’m being lifted too. Try allowing yourself to be lifted up. And be grateful for the people in your life that are there to lift you. I know I am. So what are you going to try next on the road to success?
Why Chasing a Dream Doesn’t Work
You want it all. You want it now. You’ve done everything right. Read all the books. Taken all the workshops. Shaken all the right hands. So why hasn’t your dream come true yet? Your dream could be anything. A better job, a nicer house, a better girlfriend, or that next big client. Dreams are a good thing to have. They give us a reason to get out of bed in the morning. But dreams are difficult to achieve. When we see other people achieving their dreams, and ours still remain just out of our grasp, we get very frustrated. That woman just bought a beautiful cottage. That guy just sold his startup for ten million bucks. Those two seem so happy together. Other people’s dreams have come true, and you’re left wondering if yours ever will. The Rollercoaster from Hell. I don’t like rollercoasters. Never have. Having the wits scared out of me is not really my idea of a good time. Neither is cheating death. I’ve been an entrepreneur full time for almost 3 years now. Every single day of my life is one continuous rollercoaster ride. We reach the highest highs and the lowest lows all at the same time. The loop de loups are unbelievable. I wish that my days could have fewer ups and downs. I wish I could spend all my days celebrating success and that I’d never have to worry about failure. Or do I? The rollercoaster ride is fundamental to dream achievement. I am truly passionate about what I do. I am completely emotionally invested in my business. It makes me laugh big fat belly laughs. It makes me cry in my pillow. It makes me want to dance with joy. It makes me want to throw things. It doesn’t make me like rollercoasters any more. But now, I just tolerate them and accept them, because they are part of the deal. No dream worth having was ever achieved on a straight road. Hot Pursuit Never Gets You Anywhere. I remember back in high school I had a HUGE crush on this boy. He was my first love. Man, I really dug this guy. (Oh how I hope he isn’t reading this post, as I realize suddenly we are still Facebook friends.) I chased after this boy in a big way. I went out of my way to call him, to be around him, to talk to him. I was what you would call, in hot pursuit. I chased and I chased and I chased. He was, after all, my dream guy. I was lucky he was a good person. Even though I “loved” him, the feeling was not mutual. For all my chasing, all we ever became was good friends. I was grateful for that (and still am). That experience I had at the ripe old age of 13, is a metaphor for the pursuit of dreams. Chasing a dream never works, for a couple of reasons. First, when you chase, it’s obvious. Others notice, and they don’t see the chasing of a dream. They see desperation. And nobody wants to do business with or start dating desperation. It helps if you are a nice person, of course, because then the chasing isn’t as obvious. If you’re fun to be around, people won’t mind. They will like you. But they will always keep you at arms length because they sense your ulterior motive (i.e. I am desperate for you to be my boyfriend/client/wife/boss!) And in the end, like me and dream boy, what you may end up with is a good friend, but you won’t get your dream. Relax. Go Do It. So what’s the solution? If I don’t actively chase my dreams, how will I ever make them happen? Well first, stop. Take a deep breath. Then stop trying so damn hard. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of dreams coming true. You imagine yourself on that podium getting the big award. You envision bags of money all around you. You see yourself walking down the aisle. But if the actions you are taking are only about achieving that ideal, then you are coming from a place of lack. You are wanting to be somewhere you are not. You will only be happy once you achieve your dream. And that’s the wrong place to be. This is the downfall of dreamers. They always want to be someplace else, when where they really need to be is right where they are. Ever hear the story of the guy who was an overnight success? Flash forward two years and he’s on the street, having lost all the fame and fortune he wasn’t ready for to a life of depression and drugs. The reason you haven’t achieved your dream yet is because you need to spend your time preparing to be able to handle it. That means working hard. Making connections. Appreciating what it’s like to be broke, or lonely (or both). Feeling exactly the way you need to feel in the situation you are in right now. The bottom line is, you need to have dreams. You MUST have them. But until you stop demanding they come true this minute, you will be stuck in a pattern of chasing. Once you let go of your want, and start doing what you need, you’ll suddenly see a shift. And your dreams will seem closer to reality than ever before.
A Five Minute Lesson on Labels and Fame
Lots of people are talking about relationships these days. There are plenty of examples of fresh, new thinking about how we build, nurture and maintain relationships. We have more tools than ever before at our disposal to help us connect, communicate and grow as humans. Yet we are still intent on placing labels on everything, and on listening to the voices of a few rather than the collective thoughts of the many. Stick a label on it, shove it in a box. Labels are a bit of a Catch-22, aren’t they? On the one hand, I hate them. It’s like fitting things into cramped little boxes. She’s a Community Builder. That guy’s a Thought Leader (cringe). We always try to define the role. On the other hand, labels help us to understand the context of what someone brings to the table. After all, we’ve got to call it something, don’t we (do we)? So in terms of context alone, labels can be a good thing. It’s when we get tied to our labels that we tread into dangerous territory. What someone does, what they are known for, is a direct result of the impact they have on the people around them. People are perceived as being something, and from that point on, they are only associated with being that thing. She’s a social media superstar. He’s a published author. She’s a television host. The perception of the person is suddenly only as a representation of their label. Cuz We’ve Got…Personality, Personality. In the media biz, we call anyone who is in front of the microphone or camera, a “personality”. Who that person is when they are in the spotlight becomes what people perceive as who that person really is in their “real life”. I’ve spent 20 years working in media. I am friends with plenty of “personalities”. They are people who are, in some cases, firmly planted in the spotlight of their various niches. I am not, and never have been a name dropper. But I get frustrated sometimes, because I’d like to be able to talk about my friends, the things I learn from them, the fun we’ve had, and so on. But even talking about them in this context, without mentioning their names, feels like name dropping. I’ve never befriended someone just because they are famous or popular. (In fact, I know plenty of famous people who are jerks.) I befriend people because I like them, because we make a connection with each other. I don’t care if they can’t walk down the street or into a big event without getting attention. It’s actually sort of uncomfortable for me, as I’m naturally shy. Being the person that’s standing next to the guy or girl with the crowd of people around him makes me feel downright foolish sometimes. “You’re with so and so? Oh, you must be popular too!” Sigh. Hide me now. I’ve never been the famous one. Heck, I’ve rarely been the popular one! (I definitely wasn’t in high school). Fame and popularity are fickle beasts. One moment you are on top of the heap. The next moment the rug’s been pulled. Ironically, many times, it’s the famous person themselves that’s doing the pulling. That’s what’s unfair about putting people on pedestals. Suddenly, Ol’ Superstar is only known for being the popular gal or the famous guy. Who they are takes a back seat. They can’t scale, because everyone wants just 10 seconds of their time, an opinion on this, a handshake, an autograph. It becomes too much to bear, and they have to walk away, often to the disappointment of their fans. Superstars are people too. Social media, in my opinion, has only served to exacerbate the pedestal-placing behaviour of the masses. Normal, everyday people who are just trying to put it out there, connect with people, and maybe make a buck or two while they’re at it, are having attention barfed all over them at every turn. This causes two problems. One, Ms. Popular’s message and efforts get diluted because everyone’s too busy vying for their attention to actually pay attention to the message. Two, the little guys get left behind. None of these things is intentional. They are an unfortunate by-product of a society that only wants to listen to the voices of the famous few. It’s not that the popular people don’t have relevant things to say. They do. But often their voice is echoed so loudly by their fan base, that the point is lost entirely. I think it’s high time we brought things back down to earth. Reconnected on a human level with each other, regardless of loudness, strength, popularity or fame. Social media is the great leveller. It puts the Richard Bransons and the rest of us on the same playing field. Anyone can connect with anyone. The lines of class, status, religion, politics and culture and money are blurring more everyday. Julien Smith asked a provocative question on his blog yesterday. “Mass media is merging. Personal media is splintering. Why?” It seems pretty cut and dry to me. Mass media thrives on the fact that the average media consumer tends to only listen to the voice of the few at the top. They push the upper crust higher and higher into the statusphere (props to @briansolis) until their lone voices permeate every medium. Personal media by nature gives everyone a voice. Yet the very freedom it provides is its downfall. The average media consumer isn’t ready for Joe Blogger. They are only listening to those who are shouting from the rooftops. They are concerned mostly about who is popular and famous. They aren’t listening to us, even though we are dying for them to start. We simply aren’t loud enough yet. Thing is, fame and popularity won’t go very far when the world finally wakes up and realizes that in the end, media is about telling stories. We all have them. We all want to tell them. With
What My Dad Has Taught Me
My Dad is a pretty cool guy. He’s one of the youngest-at-heart people I know. We have a running joke in our family – when talking about Dad’s age (71), we say he’s “Older than Dirt”. He thinks it’s hilarious. I think it’s ironic. Dad may be in his 70’s, but he sure doesn’t act like it. He’s in better shape than I am, and spends many of his retired days fixing, building, mowing, climbing ladders, pressure washing, and any other physically demanding domestic chore you can imagine. He also spends much of his time with his grandsons on the floor wrestling, play fighting and horsing around just like he did with us when we were kids. When he’s not doing that, he’s traveling around the world with Mom. My Dad enjoys life. He doesn’t act old because he doesn’t FEEL old. He doesn’t FEEL old because he doesn’t let himself have that attitude. Whether he’s pressure washing the driveway, traveling the world with my Mom or hugging his grandkids, every moment is treasured. My Dad is a pretty accomplished guy. Dad was a member of the Canadian Armed Forces for 36 years. As any of you who are Base Brats like me will know, this means that basically your life as a kid was dictated by your Dad’s job. We moved 5 times, I went to 3 different elementary schools and 2 different high schools, in all corners of the country. Dad was really really good at his job. So good, in fact, that in 1985 he became a Member of the Order of Military Merit, which is like the military equivalent of the Order of Canada. My Dad worked hard through his entire career. He accomplished many great things, and made positive change in the environments he was in. He was a good leader – his colleagues looked up to him. He set the example and was rewarded for it. He never tried too hard – he simply knew what needed to be done and then proceeded to do it better than most. He never did anything FOR recognition. He did it because he cared about people and about his country. My Dad is a pretty devoted guy. My parents will be happily married 48 years this coming September. That’s quite an accomplishment in itself! Due to the nature of his job, Dad was away quite a bit – sometimes for 6 months at a time. He was in a pretty remote location, so we had limited contact – once in a while via HAM radio, but mostly we communicated by sending audio cassette tapes back and forth in the mail. Even though his job was very busy and very important, without fail, Dad would send us tapes, once a week or so. Much of the time he’d just be talking about us, what we were doing in school, how baseball and swimming lessons were going, that sort of thing. But it was something we knew we could rely on. My Dad, even though he is always busy with lots and lots of important things, ALWAYS, 100% of the time, has time for his family. Family is the most important thing. Hands down. When he was home, he was entirely focused on us. The most fun was always the day Dad came home. Thank you Dad, for teaching me three very important lessons; to appreciate every moment of life, to not be afraid to work hard for the greater good, and that family is central to everything. Happy Father’s Day! Love, Suze (xoxo) (PS My Dad is the one who gave me the nickname “Suze”…just so ya know) 🙂
Making Up Time
A friend of mine asked for some help yesterday. Well, it’s more like I offered to help and he just took me up on it. Either way, I hope that the little bit of advice I was able to give him helps him even in some small way on the path to the success I know he will have. He thanked me publicly for taking the time out of my insane schedule to review something he’d written, and provide some suggestions. I thought that it was actually a bit strange that he did that, for I didn’t feel I was “taking time” at all. I was simply helping a friend. That doesn’t “take” time. I was “giving” time. There’s a key difference. There are still 24 hours in the day. I’m reminded of one of my favourite quotes by Douglas Adams, “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly past my head.” Though it may seem like days are whizzing by you in a flash, the fact is, we all have the same amount of time. Every single person on the earth has 24 hours in a day. This means you have the same amount of time as everyone else. “I’m running out of time” is a ridiculous statement, when you really think about it. It’s not about how much time you have. It’s about what you do with the time you are given. Lost time. I used to be a Production Assistant on live TV shows. My job was to keep the show on time. If we had to be out at exactly 59 minutes and 30 seconds, then it had to be exact, simple as that. 59:33 was unacceptable. We were given a runsheet (a schedule of the events for the show) and I had to time each segment as it ran, then tell the director if we either needed to stretch for time, or cut time. I had multiple stopwatches, a time of day clock, pencils and paper. I can’t do math very well, but I can add time (e.g. what’s 3 minutes 45 seconds plus 1 minute 32 seconds?) like nobody’s business. I can also count out 10 seconds precisely without the aid of a timer. Makes me way fun at parties. 😉 In live TV, we were inevitably always making up for lost time. An interview would run too long, the host would babble, or someone mistimed the taped roll-in segment. Before we knew it, we were 2 minutes over, and we had to somehow make up that time. The first thing to do in that situation is to cut out the least important stuff. You look at the runsheet, and see a 1 minute host banter segment. Gone. A couple of interviews lose 30 seconds each. Suddenly, your show is back on time and all’s right with the world. If you are losing time, maybe you need to make yourself a little runsheet. Write down a list of everything you do in a day and give it a timeframe. Then figure out where you need to cut, so you have more time for the important stuff. In other words…don’t spend your efforts on things that aren’t important. I guarantee that will buy you time for the things that are. It’s about time. Let’s face it, we all have overflowing inboxes, 40 million voicemails, people demanding our time and energy. But if it’s your goal to connect with people, be helpful, and nurture your online or offline relationships, then you need to carve out the time to do that. We all have things in the day that we do to waste time (Mine’s playing Bejewelled). Mostly, that’s about procrastination, and that is a topic for another post. But if you truly want to have more time, you’ll find ways to find the time. It’s a shift of focus. You’re not running out of time. You, like everyone else, have all the time in the world.