It’s never been my intention to use this blog as a bitch session, but there has been something bugging me lately and I need to get it off my chest.

Have you noticed that people these days seem to be very self absorbed? I mean, there are plenty of people I know who are always self absorbed..selfish…self centred. But I’m talking in general. It’s not just people I know – in a lot of cases it’s total strangers.

For example, I’m in the mall today. And I have to tell you I don’t know how many times I was bumped and pushed by people walking towards me in the other direction. Or they just stare at me like I’m some kind of rude bugger who won’t get out of the way. How many times people stood in line behind me, huffing and puffing because the girl was taking too long to ring up the order.

What really bugs me about all of this is that many people these days don’t seem to pay any heed to what is going on around them. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the rude shopping mall people or the ones that just don’t pay attention to the important people in their lives. With most people these days – It’s all me me me. What I want to do. Where I want to go. The drama that is unfolding in my life. People seem to have no concern for how someone else might feel about their incessant whining, complaining, and negativity. Or for how someone might feel if they don’t honour their commitments, or take that little bit of extra time to make someone important feel special.

In addition, for all of the positive things happening in my life these days, I’m still getting a lot of “must be nices”. I hate “Must be nices”. Must be nice you got a new office. Must be nice you get to work for yourself. Must be nice you own a house, or a pool, or a black lab…or whatever!

So here’s what I’d like to see happen. I’d like people to just take a step back out of their own heads for a second, take the blinders off, and have a look around. There are a lot of fascinating things going on outside of your house full of kids, your shitty job and your bad relationships. It’s a challenge to do this sometimes, because most of us are in the habit of feeling sorry for ourselves…(“nobody has it worse than I do!” – heard that one before?). I think everyone who reads this (myself included) should do at least one thing this week that is totally for someone else. Here are some ideas:

Call a friend just to find out how they are really doing (not to bitch about how crappy your life is).
Go see your Mom on Mother’s Day and bring her something really nice, that you know she will genuinely love.
Organize a street hockey game for the neighbourhood kids…just so they can have some fun.
Take your kid(s), niece(s), nephew(s), to a movie that you know they will really enjoy.
Make dinner for your best friend, just to show how much you appreciate her/him.

See? It’s not that hard, and I guarantee, stepping out of the self absorption for awhile will make you feel better, and make those around you feel better about you.

Oh, and for anyone out there who tends to think or say “must be nice”….stop it NOW. It serves no purpose whatsoever except to show your jealousy (a truly useless emotion). Instead, replace the “must be nice” with “I am soooo happy for you! You truly deserve everything you have!” Everyone will be better off for it – including you.

But I want to hear from you, dear blog readers…why do YOU think people are so self-absorbed these days? Or do you even think that at all?

2 Responses

  1. I think people are self-absorbed for all the reasons you said. I also think some of them are that way because that’s how they cope. In Toronto, in particular, I see that on people’s faces. They’ve been hurt too many times and so this is their solution. That definitely doesn’t make it right, but I know it happens like that sometimes until someone or something jarrs (sp?) them out of it.
    I know I’ve fallen into self-absorption at periods but then I come out of it. I mainly come out of it because I find I get energy from opening up to people and giving them something back.
    By taking that one step back and letting someone in front of me to get on the streetcar, or subway, gives me an inner smile. Or by seeing someone smile when receiving my nice gesture, I feel good. I guess that could be seen as selfish but perhaps not quite self-absorbing, more like outward-absorbing..?.. anyway, the message is good: take a breath and open up to people. Work harder at being interested in people instead of trying so hard to be interesting and the world comes to your doorstep. 🙂

  2. I like the honesty and passion here. great stuff. keep writing! awesome. have a nice weekend my friend.

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